The Art of Bullshit: BBE Varicomp Compressor

[Heath]

Musicianfriends deal of the day...

Here is the description text which made me chuckle:

 Features

    Output, attack and threshold controls  <-- Aight.

    NOS CA3080 OTA (Operational Transconductance Amplifier)  <-- Umm.. woopty doo?

    470K input impedance for vintage correct pickup loading  <--

    10kOhms output impedance when engaged  <-- For real?

    1% metal-film resistors for consistency  <-- Aight.

    High-voltage poly caps for better tone  <-- Heh.. heheheh... HHAHAH!!

    Military-spec circuit board for reliability  <-- Wtf?

    Blue status LED for high visibility and low power consumption  <-- WTF?  BWAHAHAHA!!!

    True hardwire bypass  <-- As opposed to FAKE hardwire bypass?

[dexxyy]

So busy mentioning all the "features" they forgot to mention the obligatory 2 years R&D. Obviously We`ll need to find out where they source their military spec circuit board, nothing less will do for a Ge deathstar.

[rocket88]

agreed, and i got some of the super secret Klon Ge diodes for the control room.

[Vince]

I find those bullshit sales pitches hilarious!... One of my favourites is..

''here at _______ we spend countless hours A/B testing components in search for that..... at which point my bullshit-O-meter exploded......

[Vince]

Also, if anyone wants to buy some diode pixie dust, I'm ya man

[rocket88]

vince, if you got that magic diode pixie dust, you should put it up on ebay. you'll make a fortune!!!

[Vince]

Haha... This time next year I'll be a millionaire!... They're NOS dust sealed bags circa 1970's and rumour has it that Pete Cornish touched one of the bags but I cannot be sure which one......

[negativefx]

I tend to mix my diode pixie dust with baking soda and water first.  That way, it kicks in faster when you turn on the pedal.

[Heath]

dexxyy wrote

So busy mentioning all the "features" they forgot to mention the obligatory 2 years R&D. Obviously We`ll need to find out where they source their military spec circuit board, nothing less will do for a Ge deathstar.

Ha!!  Don't forget to install positive ground power supplies aboard the Ge Deathstar 

[inefficiency]

Just don't daisy chain it with anything