Darth Vader straps on his Gibson (Dark Side, bitches!)
Flying V, because that's totally what DV would play,
probably a Michael Schenker Signature model.
"(KISHHHKOSSHHH)Clean Signal..."
*Strrrummm...*
"(KSHHHHKUSSHHHH)Target Alderaan... (SHHUSHHWUSHHH)
and bring me my totally not a FuzzFace ripoff which I shall
call the Planet Buster."
"But, Lord Vader.. isn't it the same circuit with a tweak to
the*CHOKEGASPGURGLE*"
"(KISHHHKOSSHHH) 5 years of careful research (KSHHHH)
and Unicorn pubes-"
"Alderaan targeted, my Lord*CHOKEGASPGURGLE*"
"(SHHUSHHWUSHHH) NEVER WHEN I'M MONOLOGUE-ING!"
"Private Jones assuming targeting command, my Lord."
"(KSHHHHKUSSHHHH) Private?"
"Yes, you've killed everyone else."
"(KSHHHHKUSSHHHH) Very well. Prepare to fire on my
Power Chord."
"Yes, my Lord. Fuzz at 12 o'clock, Volume set to 11-"
"(KISHHHKOSSHHH) Fuzz and Volume to Max."
"But, my Lord, the clipping-" <Vader makes chocking
motion> "yes, my Lord, controls maxed!!"
"(SHHUSHHWUSHHH) Behold the power of the Dark Side,
Vintage Germanium Transistors, ridiculously expensive
vintage-grime coated mojo capacitors, (KISHHHKOSSHHH)
and wishful-thinking!!!"
*STOMP* *CHA-CHUNK*
*fizzle!!!!*
<Meanwhile, 1500 lightyears away>
"Whoa..."
"What's wrong, Ben, are you okay?"
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if some vintage
Ge transistors cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
I fear something terrible has happened."
<...and back at the Ge Deathstar>
"(KISHHHKOSSHHH) Fuck me! Who plugged this into a negative
ground power supply?!"
"Admiral Britishguy, sir."
<Vader makes choking motions>
"You already choked him, my Lord. He's dead."
"(SHHUSHHWUSHHH) Dammit!!
Admiral Jones, see if that
Russian guy on Ebay has anymore 2N404As."
"yes, my Lord."
"(KISHHHKOSSHHH) get 2 pair if he has them."
"Yes, my Lord."
"(KSHHHHKUSSHHHH) and bring me my Klone Centaur"
"You mean your Klon Centaur?"
"(SHHUSHHWUSHHH) Hell no, I can't afford one of those."
"Right away, my Lord."